Zim's Ironic Plan
by Jon3
Summary: Zim comes up with an ironic plan to conquer the world and Dib must stop him.


1 Zim's Ironic Plan  
  
Zim was at skool looking up every word in the dictionary and writing its definition like Ms. Bitters told them. Suddenly Dib farted. Zim clenched his nose and gagged. Dib went red. After skool that day Zim went on his computer and tried to figure out what the gas was that had emanated from Dib's butt. He soon found out that this "gas" was called a fart. "Hmm...This has possiblities...," Zim said while finding out more information. "I could bottle the humans' 'farts' and release them on the entire planet. They will suffer from the horrible stink and faint. Then I will make them worship me and I will take over the planet!!" Zim laughed a long evil Zim-laugh.  
  
"I'm gonna order pizza now!" Gir sang happily as he bounced off the walls.  
  
"Gir for the last time we are not orderi- okay Gir you can order pizza."  
  
"I love you master!" Gir squealed. He then jumped on Zim and hugged him.  
  
"Get off!" Zim screamed. Gir got off. Half an hour later the pizza came. The pizza guy rung the doorbell and Gir ran to the door.  
  
"Here's your pizza," the pizza guy said.  
  
"Filthy human stink beast, fart for me!" Zim ordered.  
  
"What's in it for me?" asked the pizza guy.  
  
"I'll give you a tip."  
  
His face lighted up and he farted. Zim bottled the fart and gave the pizza guy a tip. But little did the pizza guy know it was a fake tip. A few seconds later the tip exploded and the pizza guy screamed in horror. The next day Zim bottled peoples farts and did so for many weeks. After a while Dib began to get suspicious.  
  
"Why is he going up to people and holding a bottle to their butts?" Dib asked himself one day. Dib decided he was going to investigate. So after skool Dib devised a plan to find out what Zim was doing. Dib went over to Zim's house and dug underground where there should be a lawn gnome. He finally got into Zim's lab and looked at his computer. The plan was written on the computer so Zim wouldn't forget it. Dib read all of it. "What an ironic but brilliant plan," Dib said. "But I'm going to make sure Zim doesn't get to carry it out." Dib went upstairs where Zim was making a device to make people fart so he didn't have to give them anything anymore when he asked people to fart for him. Dib silently pulled out his Ultra Lazer and shot a beam of energy at Zim. Zim melted. "That's weird...it wasn't supposed to melt him." Something then dawned on him. It wasn't Zim at all. It was a wax dummy. The real Zim swung down from the ceiling with an Irken Grenade Shooter 4000tm.  
  
"Prepare to meet your doom Dib!" Zim laughed evilly and pulled the trigger on the Grenade Shooter. Dib dodged it and ran out of the house. "Get back here you idiotic filthy beast!!" Zim screeched as he ran after Dib. Zim fired several times making big potholes in the road. After about 15 minutes Zim had lost Dib. He slowly walked back to his house panting. Out of nowhere Dib jumped out of a sewer vent and fired his Ultra Lazer at Zim. The lazer hit Zim and he screamed in agony. Dib fired some more blasts and Zim screamed more and more. Zim ducked the last few and ran into his house and put the lawn gnomes on high alert.  
  
Over the last month Dib had been trying everything to stop Zim's plan but all his attempts were failing. Nonetheless, Dib kept trying.  
  
2 months later...  
  
Zim thought he had gathered enough farts and was going to release them tomorrow. Dib eventually found out because all day Zim was chanting with malice,"Tomorrow. The day...tomorrow....cannot wait." The next day at skool Dib secretly brought his most powerful lazer to skool to kill Zim and to stop him from releasing his plan. On their way to P.E. Dib pulled out his lazer. It was the "Nuclear Atomic Missile Bomb Lazer 24000." He shot the lazer at Zim and he exploded. After the smoke cleared there were a lot of robot parts scattered around the floor. Dib smacked himself in the face. "I should have forseen this!" he exclaimed furiously. Zim had sent a robot replica of himself to skool instead. Dib would do anything to stop Zim. He then rushed back to his class and jumped out the window. He pulled out a parachute and safely landed on the ground. He ran as fast as he could to Zim's house and kicked the door down. "Welcome home son," said Zim's robot dad.  
  
"Brush your teeth! I said brush your teeth!" the robot mom commanded.  
  
"Honey could it be? It's diarrhea!" Dib kicked both of them and they malfunctioned. He ran inside where he saw Zim pouring all of his bottled farts into one gigantic bottle.  
  
"All ready," Zim said while smirking. Zim walked to the broken door but saw Dib blocking it. "Get out of the way human!" Dib then shot his lazer at Zim but in the nic of time Zim dodged it and he ran past Dib into the street. He unscrewed the cork on the bottle and the farts seeped out of the bottle.  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!" Dib yelled in anger. At once Dib had an idea. He ran to his house and got one of his dad's mega vacuums and rushed to where the farts were releasing. He turned the vacuum on and all the farts were sucked into the mega vacuum. "This vacuum can hold an infinite amount of stuff! So you can say good-bye to your plan!"  
  
"You will pay one day Dib! YOU WILL PAY DEARLY!!!!" They both walked into the skool and sat down at their desks.  
  
"You both will get detention for being late. You will have to clean up the gym floor. It is full of sweat and you will clean all of it up with a sponge and when you are done you will suck on the sponge for a punishment." Zim and Dib looked at each other and screamed.  
  
THE END 


End file.
